Schedule some time to shag between the wedding and the reception (even if it’s just a quickie) because you *might* be too tired to bang at the end of the night, and not banging on your wedding day is just unacceptable.
Okay, I guess I gave 3 fucks about wedding planning. That’s all I got.
If your Chinese grandma starts to nag you during your English-language vows, just tell her you love her and move on.
Even if you only give two fucks about wedding planning, try to buy your rings a little earlier than 2 weeks before the wedding. Oops.
Just ask your dad to rent a giant white van to drive around the relatives who flew in from San Francisco so they don’t get lost.
If you keep feeding them food, you can skip the dance program. Your guests are more likely to need to be rolled out after the ten course meal than to want to do the body roll.
